Why not?

       Some days i know the answer to this question and some other days i do not. I have a very logical explanation for why not, which i keep repeating to myself over and over again, but even this sometimes does not make sense. Why not? Because i don't need the headache, because i don't want to be hurt, because i am selfish, because i am independent, because i am self sufficient, because i don't have time, because of my busy schedule, because no one understand me, because i am a difficult woman to please..... and many more reasons why not.
        The truth of the matter is that i am comfortable with myself and who i am, most importantly, i know what i do not want. I don't want lies, laziness, procrastination, devotion, hopelessness, indifference, isolation, carelessness,insensibility, darkness, fairness, secrets... i don't want it!!!!
         There is peace and tranquility in my life which i never experienced before. I am selfish because i only have to worry about myself ( and my two monkeys who depend on me). Waking up has never been so delightful as when i have to get up to make chocolate milk before 7am. Why not? simply because it is so much better this way.
         There is a theory that says that one most ask five times why in order to find the root cause of something. Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not?.... well, that did not work in this case because the answer continues to be the same...just because i don't want to!!!!
        Will i regret it later when i am old, wrinkle, unable to do many of the things i can do now? who knows? I will never do anything just  to please others. I can only please myself and make myself happy, no one can make me happy but me. For now and until whenever just because i don't want to!!!! As simple as that....

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES PART2

''ONE OF MY FAVORITE CARTOONS EVERY SATURDAY MORNING"  

       Imagination and invention was what i was good for when i was  eleven years old. One of my favorite things to do was to play with sand and  mug. I remember that i developed a rash on my  knees so bad that i spend many days going to the dermatologist. I just loved to play with sand and dirt. I used to swim and rub on it. My mom probably got tired of yelling at me so i would get out of the dirt, because she just gave up on me. My favorite time to go splash on the mug was whenever it rained. I pretended that the dirt was a giant pool. When it was raining i used to go to any hill and slided myself down the hill as if i was going down a real slide on a playground. That was amazing!!!!
       Another thing i enjoy doing when i was little was climbing trees. It was as if by climbing those trees i was escaping from the world below. My mom could never find me. I remember  that she would bring me food so that i could eat. I also liked climbing trees because i liked to pick fresh fruits. I used to pick Mangos, my favorite fruit, also Cherries, Almonds, Guanabanas, Passion Fruits and Tamarindo. Every time i picked Almond fruits i used to prepare a dessert which i just loved . I would eat the Almond fruit first and then  smash it with a stone in order to take the Almond seed out. This was a long but easy process for me, but when i was finished all of my clothes and hands were stained from the Almond fruit. My mom would beat me up for this, but i didn't care because the Almond dessert was yummy.
       Sand, dirt, rain, and trees are not the most appealing things to many of us who live in big city like New York, nevertheless, when one lived in a beautiful Island like where i was born, one learn to appreciate and respect nature. More importantly, one understands that materials things like cars, computers, phones,ect  sometimes keep us from enjoying life in a unique way. Have you ever climbed on top of you roof house to watch the sun raised? Have you ever cross a river or a mountain while riding a horse? Have you ever picked the most beautiful fruit and then sit on a rock by the river and just eat it? That is the life!!!!!


      The Blind SideThe Blind SideAvatar (Two-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo) [Blu-ray]

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES PART1

Avatar (Two-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo) [Blu-ray]

One of my best childhood memories are those of the ''barrio'' nights. On those nights all kids from my block and i would play all kind of imaginable games. One of my favorite games was hide and seek because i was a good climber and my friends could never find me.
    I remember that most of the time there was no power in the neighborhood. This was a good thing for my friends and i because it made our games more interesting. One particular thing about my generation is that boys and girls played separate. This is funny because  it was as if we were enemies,but sometimes we played war games against each other. I loved to play war games because that was the only time we played with the boys. There was always an empty or abandoned house in the neighborhood which gave us more excuse to make any game fun an exciting. We dare each other to touch or enter the house. This was so much fun. There no balls,toys,bicycles, dolls, or video games,just  a lot of imagination and invention. We were a generation that was not hooked to the television, but on the contrary we left that for the adults, because to us there was so much outside in our backyards to explore and discover. I remember that we made balls and dolls out of cloth and guns out of wood. We also made houses out of trees, boxes or leaves.The best play time ever was whenever it was raining.The rain was the best excuse for us to go outside and play. Today i don't understand how our parents let us played in the rain without worrying about some danger.On the other hand, we also collected rain our for our families to drink as well.   All we needed was a plastic bag over our heads and shoe less we run and played all around the "barrio". We are nine years old  only once in a life time. I really enjoyed mine!!!

PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!

        Monday morning my sister wake up to the news that one of her clients was slaughtered by her boyfriend. She was a hard working woman and a mother of a young boy and din't deserved to die that way. I am not surprised when something like this happens. I believe that i have become immune to this type of abuse because of so many reasons. However, i feel that it is my responsibility as a woman to say something about it. At the same time, i know close friends of mine who have had abusive partners. I want all women to know that there is no reason why any men should   abuse you either emotionally, physically or verbally. There are so many reason to why men are abusive that i would need two days straight to write about it. I don't want to talk about the reasons why abuse happens, but why it should not happen in any relationship. FIRST, it should not happen because women are FREE to do whatever they want. Realize that many women in the past suffered discrimination and abuse in order for the women of the future to be able to enjoy the freedom and equality women of the present enjoy.Second, women are ABLE to do whatever they want or TO BE whatever they wan; doctors, scientists, politicians, ect.The sky is the limit. Lets think about all those women in countries like Afghanistan, Iraq or India where women are stone to death, beaten by their husbands and oppressed by society. Third, and this is important, women should love themselves before they love any men. Women tend to fall in love too fast, faster than men do. Women should learn to be happy with themselves and love the person that is inside of them first. MEN PLEASE DON'T HURT ANY WOMEN.
            " I am fearfully and wonderfully made"
                                                  (Psalm 139:14)
I am beautiful-smart-independent-caring-sensitive-intelligent-clever-creative-sexy-honest-sincere-reliable-competent-artistic-sensual-innovative-sensational-secure-mature-open minded- brilliant- capable-unique-a mother- a sister- a friend- a wife- a girlfriend- a partner- a boss. THIS IS WHO I AM. THIS IS YOU, WOMAN!!!

      

A MAN'S HEART

A man's heart is an ocean. As i continue my research about man i came to this conclusion today. I continue to analyze man's behavior and actions through the continue search for unanswered questions about men. As i  read a book and an online source about men i have learned that they have a heart. I know, hard to believe.Nevertheless, what i found  more interesting is the fact that men like when a woman appeal to his heart. I studied psychology and this is all news to me. Well, in a way it makes sense. Little boys' behavior is impacted by the quality of nurture they received while growing up. I knew this, but on the other hand men are not as open with their feelings and emotions like us women. Men are viciously and more naturally violent than women. Statistically men are more likely to commit crimes than women, AND YES THERE ARE MANY FACTORS TO THIS. So far i discovered that men like to feel understood, love, protected, comfortable, relax, around that special woman. Men don't like woman who are pushy, demanding, bossy, insecure, dependable, and many other ugly stuffs. I learned that men want a woman who will enjoy a relationship other than trying to fix it.Men do not want the confusions and frustrations that comes with a relationship,specially if they are coming out of one. All of this makes a lot of sense to me and as i continue my research i become more receptive to why men behave the way they do. In addition, women are not easy to deal with either.
Something interesting that i also found is that in every piece of material i read about men behavior, it seems as if us women are responsible for the way men behave and act. I totally, disagree with this. Every thing one reads any article on this topic, we find  that women are to blame for the  "justifiable" way men behave toward us. I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND !!!  We give birth to men, raised them and then we are still responsible for their behavior. This seems unfair to me.
I know that men have hearts, just like us. Sometimes, they do not use it but they sure know how to mis use it.

THE BIG PICTURE.

It is important for me to be a role model. I take a lot of pride when someone looks up to me. It puts some pressure on me, but i do not mind. It is very rewarding to see that someone admires the way one lives and how ones is able to make lemonade out of lemon, as i describe my life sometimes.

I watched a movie the other day which was not very good, "Love Happens", but it had some very good advices about life. We work hard everyday, take care of our kids, take care of family members, and enjoy a healthy relationship. Nevertheless, it is not until something tragic happens in our life when we finally stop and smell the roses. I am so glad i decided not to wait for that to happen to me. I am enjoying life now as it happens. Take for instance the city of New York. There are more than 8 billion of us who live here. It is very interesting to walk in the city and see how many people rush to wherever they are going, without stopping and admiring the most beautiful city in the world. There are taxi cabs everywhere, naughty people, mad people, traffic jams, noises, pollution, and beauty, but there are those who can not see beyond all of that. If one would to go to the top of any building in New York City one could see the beauty of it all, and see everything one is missing. My point is that we have to see beyond what is in front of us. Everything that happens to us is for a purpose and sometimes we do not see it, but believe me, if we learn to look at things from above instead of what is in front of us, we will see the big picture and a new perspective.

I am not perfect and everyday i try hard to be a better person, but i want to live my life with no regrets. I want to enjoy each day. I want to be there for my friends and family. I want to be able to help anyone who needs me. I want to be the best mother for my children. I want to see the big picture each time.

WHAT MAKE MEN FALL FOR US

What makes a man love a woman? it is personality? it is charisma? it is beauty? it is intelligence? I have tried to answered that question for the last past three years. Many men like a woman who is intelligent and beautiful , but at the same time they do not want to feel intimidated by those qualities. The truth is, that no man wants to walk around with a woman who they can not establish a conversation. Today, I was reading a magazine where men were surveyed. According to the survey, men like a woman who feel comfortable with herself, secure of who she is and who has some sense of humor. All of that is great, but my question is what makes a man love a woman. A good friend told me once that we women control if a men falls in love with us or not. He was right about that. On the other hand, women control over men is limited to certain extend. Men do not like to be dominated, but they like to feel some sense of authority over the relationship and consequently over the woman. It is the natural way of life for men to be authoritative and dominant.

I am here trying to remember why some men had fallen in love with me. I question why they loved me or if they really loved me since i do not have their love anymore. I also question what makes man fall in love because sadly, i have a hard time believing that men are capable of loving, feeling, hurting, suffering, for a woman. It is because there are so many of us and they just know that they can pick and choose? How is it that men can not be happy with one woman? How is it that they do not know how to express their feelings?It is because men are in need of immediate gratification rather than feelings and emotions? So what should i think if a man tells me he loves me? it is me? my body?my qualities? my honesty? what made him fall in love? Did he fall in love? Does he knows what love is? I just do not want to find out.......