Birthdays!!!!

I don't like birthdays! Many of you might think what is wrong with her?. Well, there are many reasons for it. I think about how excited i always was about my birthdays when i was eight or nine. At the same time, there was a lot of frustrations and disappointments. Many times my parents could only afford to buy me a new dress, socks, maybe shoes and panties. There where no parties or celebrations. I possess one picture of me with a cake. The cake was fake. My mom took me to a photo studio and took my picture with the fake cake and a new dress. I had celebrated two birthdays in my life, my 15Th and my 21Th birthday. I will celebrate my 40Th.

I don't feel the need to celebrate birthdays for my children like other parents do. However,

i think it is a great thing if the child enjoy it and knows what is going on. I don't want to deprive my children of such an important event in their life but, i think it is important that they understand and embrace their childhood. I like the idea of bringing a cake to my children school and being able to share that special day in my children's life with their classmates. The benefit to this no stress about it.

There were many dresses and different colors. I remember one very particular with dots. I loved the socks with long strings on the side with a little hanging ball to pull it from. I loved my new panties with a lots of ruffles that formed a big flower. I loved my hair which my mom combed in a very particular way to made me look like i was never going to grow up. I loved that

for that day maybe they could afford to take me to the city and visit my favorite ice cream store.

I also loved that for that one day my mother would forget to whip me for any little thing i did. This was the best part. I use to love birthdays i just don't know what it is about growing up that

makes us indifferent to such small little joys.

,

TRAPPED

I love movies!!! who doesn't? well, some people watch movies, but to watch and really

enjoy movies is divine. I want to talk about the film '' REVOLUTIONARY ROAD." I want

to tied this movie to my previous blog where i spoke of HAPPIER DAYS.( because i found myself) This film explores the topic of marriage. There is a young American couple with kids who live a normal life in the suburbs. The wife convinced her husband that they should move to Paris. She knows that he hates his job and that he always wanted to go to Paris. Well, everything start to fall apart after that.

I understand very well how trapped she felt. The truth is that she didn't care if her

husband was not satisfied with his job, she wanted to move abroad because she needed to start a new life. She felt as if the young wife and mother that she had become replaced the woman inside of her. She was pretending to live a normal life, but inside she was screaming for help. I perfectly understand this. Many psychologists would say that she was depressed or bipolar. It is my personal experience that some of us go through many faces while we are dealing with children and a marriage. It can be tiring, boring, time consuming, energy consuming, lonely,depressing, challenging, among many other things. At the same time, we can feel the pressure from family members , who look up to us and make us feel powerless. There is no one to come to our rescue. We love our husband and children, but at the same time we want to fly away, take a long trip, a walk on the beach without worrying about tomorrow, or just enjoy being a woman. The worse part is that your partner, the one you married, and with whom you shared so many dreams, little by little drifts away while becoming indifferent to you and your needs. As a consequence, each one of you start to go in different directions.

I like the part when she had sex with his friend. During this scene she was completely

detached from the act and she didn't care about sex. To the wife it was about knowing that she could be attractive to another man. On the other hand, the husband cheated because it made him feel empowered. At the end of the film we could assume that the wife wanted to have an abortion because she wanted to go to Paris. I believe she had the abortion because she needed to feel that she could still gain control of her life. No one knows what was going through her mind. There is only whys but no answers. So i

learned to live each day HAPPIER, take CONTROL of my life, DEPEND only on myself and

ENJOY BEING A WOMAN.

Do you love your husband? yes i do...

Do you love your children? i adore them...

So, what wrong? I don't know.... i am tired.. i want to scape... i feel trapped

Do you have any fiends? yes, some..they are also married.. they wouldn't understand

How is your sex life? i don't know...good i guess..

Are you happy? no.. I AM NOT....

MEET PARADISE!!!!

It was name Quisquella, and it is simply the most beautiful island.

1. Its colonial architectural simply breath taking!!!

Its beaches are as transparent as clear water.

Its palms trees welcome everyone with a sweet melody from the sky.

Here , El malecon,

my favorite childhood place.